The Road You're On

I've been looking back at the past months and thinking about what has changed and what hasn't changed, what I wish I would have changed, and what I wish I hadn't changed. Mostly I'm of the sect that if it happened, it was meant to, even if the results were less than enjoyable. But still, I can't get over the fact that I could have done more, worked harder, played my cards differently, and just generally have been more of a master of my circumstance. And yet, if I'm breathing and thinking and in good health, all must have not be that bad.

Last year was one of the most difficult times of my life, and honestly I don't know I got through it. It's still not easy, but what I'm grateful for is the fact that I did get through it and with a massive amount of spiritual knowledge as a result. Twelve months ago I was a baby compared to what I am now. I learned to meditate, to connect with the energy of the spiritual realm and use it for healing. That's some major stuff! One of the biggest things was the understanding that if I can connect with a divine energy source, then life is limitless. That same energy can be used for physical healing and manifestation of real life goals.

But you know what the downside to learning all of this is? You lose friends. You lose family. People  start to think you're looney and they drop away like flies. The thing is, I would have never gone down a spiritual path if things had been all peaches and honey. It was like, sink or swim, and I chose to swim. We're so used to people going on any drug they can find to alleviate and cope with life's many issues, but what we're not used to is someone saying, I meditated and came out with a clearer mind. I cried and was shown love. I prayed and gave up my ego and found out that I had all the joy of the universe right there waiting for me. We almost want each other to suffer and fall and be trampled upon and turn into roadkill and then write a book about it and say, "Don't do what I just did." We'd rather see that, than somebody talking about hooey spiritual stuff. There comes a time when you have to be brave and let it all drop away, all those expectations, all those preset limitations of what should be and what shouldn't be, and just do what you know is right. I mean, hell, my mother gave me a bottle of Vitamin D pills for Christmas and hinted I was crazy because I read tarot. But I didn't retaliate. That's not what I want for her or for me.

You have to go within. Sometimes the outside world doesn't get it. They never will get it. The path that you're on, the road you've traveled, the troubles you've encountered and fought and faced, no one else but you will ever understand. So go within, seek the blessings of the universe, and know that I'm doing the same.

The oracle card I pulled for today is another one from the beautiful Earth Magic Oracle deck by Steven D. Farmer. I love, love this deck and use it daily to heal and to gain wisdom. It's just a wonderful set of cards. What I pulled after a good shuffle was—Meadow. And what Meadow wants to remind us of is to be vulnerable. One of the hardest things to do. If someone hurts you, a natural reaction is to be tougher so that the next strike will have less of a sting. But in reality, your skin can only get so hardened before it begins to crack--and then all that tender flesh is exposed. It's actually much braver to remain vulnerable to others' attacks. An egg yolk is kept safe inside a delicate shell. The shell is hard, but sufficiently protective. If it was too thick, no one would ever be able to make an omelet or a souffle or a chiffon cake, right? So, have a shell, but not too thick. Remain open to hurt, but with the knowledge that you are sufficiently protected by the universe.

Blessings to you, and Peace! Thanks for reading.