Allow Change

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49208525@N08/27880071071">American Robin Chicks</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>

The other week I noticed a theme in nature: extreme change and death. On my daily walk with my dachshund Henry, I saw littered along the sidewalk the effects of nature during a time of transformation. Baby birds who had fallen to the ground and died, most likely pushed out of the nest by their offspring, parents, or themselves--a first-flight disaster. Sad to see, but nature is it's own counselor and in some ways it's refreshing to see that that which is left unattended, attends to itself. I also saw unhatched eggs of delicate, sky blue. Shattered shells. Bunches of feathers from what appeared to be a hawk's feast. I also saw numerous snakeskin, all silvery and opaque, still holding the life-shape, yet not the inner workings.

That's another thing about nature, when one situation is too constricting, it's time to shed the skin, leave the nest, or be pushed out of the nest. There's none of this 'stay until you die' rhetoric which humans live by. 'You'll never get me to leave this crappy job. I've been here for forty years and no one can replace me. I'll die before I leave!' Even though the job gives you migraines, doesn't pay enough, doesn't let you take a vacation or sick leave, doesn't advance . . . But still , we persist. Or how about the relationship that runs into a toxic cycle of argument after argument, and both of you know it's over, but neither one is allowed to leave? Humans tend to live by an old doctrine of face it until it's dead. Literally dead. Physically dead. The truth is, spiritually it had died a long time ago but we refused to see it. We went through years of sadness and anger, we let it destroy our health, our happiness, all because we were told it was shameful and selfish to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.

Loving yourself first doesn't mean you hate anyone else. It doesn't mean you want others to suffer or be hurt, or that you're better than them. It simply means that you know what is good and bad for you, and knowing that, you make decisions which are progressive and which will serve ALL PARTIES. Not just you, because a positive action will always benefit others. Loving yourself first means you love yourself, and everyone else, too. You are your sole provider on this earth when it comes to real, honest, decision-making, and you know that when you make decision based on other people's wants/needs/desires it will only end up bringing negativity into your life. That's where stress-related health issues come up, not to mention depression. It's not wrong to love yourself first, it's smart.

But it's also extremely difficult.

When making a major life decision, remember to list the pros and cons. Write down if the change will truly benefit you, or hurt you? And others? Look at it from all angles, and never make a decision based on anger or rash wants and needs. Look at the long term. Think about what you really want and if the grass is truly greener on the other side. Also, do think about if you're being selfish--and when I say selfish, I mean, am I doing this to hurt someone else on purpose? There's a difference between doing something you know is truly good for you and will help you on your path to being a better person but which might ruffle a few feathers, and doing something that has the intent of bringing pain and revenge. Of course, the latter would only hurt you eventually. It does come back, believe it or not.

On one of my walks I found a baby bird lying in the hot street, still breathing and very much alive. I approached it carefully, timid so that it wouldn't snip at me with it's tiny beak. It opened wide and squawked at me, and soon a flurry of other birds dive-bombed out of the trees, all crying out in warning. They didn't want me to help, the baby didn't want me to help. But I knew that it needed help, because if I didn't do something, a car would run right over it and never know. I grabbed an old bank envelope form my purse and scooped up the baby and hurriedly carried it to a patch of shady grass where it could either learn to fly, or die. My hopes were that it's parents would fly down and provide a makeshift nest on the ground to accommodate it. I couldn't guarantee it would happen, but at least now it had some hope.

In life there's always a choice. We dither and worry over change. We refuse help over and over again, because we're afraid, so afraid of the transformation. But believe me when I say there is a wiser, all knowing hand reaching out to us that wants us to beauty and joy of the newness that change brings. Happiness is not for certain people, it's for all people. Reach out for it, and know that there are many who will benefit.

Many blessings and peace.